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Maybe the paramour found a way to get to him or her, rekindled the passion and convinced your spouse that he or she will never be happy without them.

If your spouse went back to the affair the second time, it seemed to have much more power over them than in the beginning.

Or, they might have heard that your spouse no longer believes what they once believed, so the church folks may as well go bother someone who buys into their malarkey. That may sound Pollyannaish, but I’ve personally witnessed it repeatedly over the last sixteen years.

That’s the only time I’ve heard the story work just that way. If your spouse has told you that he or she is in love with someone else, I suggest you do the following things.

When you asked questions, the answers seemed a little too slick and too rehearsed. Refuse to cooperate and you will find yourself in a bloody legal battle.

Sometimes your questions hit harder and your spouse reacted with anger or sarcasm, telling you that you’re paranoid. Maybe your spouse cajoled, or threatened, in a concerted effort to keep you from telling anyone what was happening.

You thought that you were imagining things, being insecure in thinking your spouse had someone else.

Then you began to vacillate, worrying that you must be right but telling yourself that surely you aren’t.

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