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I wrote him many cute love letters in Japanese and English but he didn’t reply for many months.

After some time I finally asked him in person and he told me that he can’t date me because we work in the same team.’ Clearly, he was not interested but she wasn’t giving up. I made him a Bento, baked a cake for him and organized a super-fun birthday party for him a few weeks ago.

It is commonly believed that dating in Japan is easy for non-Asian (particularly white) men and hard for women.

I came across a blog post by zoomingjapn, a German girl living in Japan, writing about dating in Japan as a foreigner. She writes, ‘It is comparably easy for a western foreign man to find a Japanese woman or to have a nice relationship here in Japan’, but ‘it is extremely tough to find a date as a foreign woman here in Japan.’ Her story is interesting in itself but the most interesting part of the article is the huge number of comments gets – 162 comments (or about 30,000 words! A lot of people who commented actually disagree with her.

But such an emotionally loaded gift would only work if he was already madly in love with her.

I’m not saying that ignoring her was the right thing to do; it was terrible.

I have noticed that cute girls tend to be quite bad at approaching guys. She is studying computer science and surrounded by a lot of guys.

They always get approached by guys and don’t have to make the first step themselves. It’s always interesting to hear all the boring questions they ask when they try to hit on guys: ‘What’s your name? Despite that, she is having difficulties with dating.

I’m horribly bad at drawing but I put lots of effort and I got honest praise from the people around me whom I showed the book.On my last page, I told him that it’s his story now and that there are still many white pages that can be filled.’ It might be obvious to many people but doing all this to a guy who is not interested (and possibly not used to dealing with girls) is not only ineffective but also counterproductive. If he was experienced in dating, he could have said something like, ‘I know that you are interested in me but I just don’t see you that way.I appreciate that you are making an effort but I don’t think it’s going to work. ’ But there’s only so much you can expect from a Japanese computer science major boy. ‘Over three weeks later that he completely ignored the whole thing’, she writes. ‘All of my friends told me that this is just such a wonderful present that he has to fall in love with me’, she writes.Many people provided counter-examples in the comments.My personal experience also tells me that dating in Japan is completely feasible and a lot of my friends seem to be doing OK with dating here.

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He might be right, but the word ‘childish’ makes me think that his culture might have a different concept of maturity.

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