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I met him one time when I was 17, but I did not know who he was.I am 42 years old now and for 18 years I still remain without complete peace and find that the "situation" comes up and haunts me now and then.by Shallyn (Texas) In 1992 after having my first child, my Mother decides to tell me that my Dad is not my biological father. My Mother told me this out of her own hurt and bitterness toward my Dad, hoping by telling me this it would hurt him instead.I felt myself falling into a depression shortly after but mentally blocked it from my mind knowing I had to take care of my daughter.There is no possible way to not have a hurtful situation. I'm following up to state, after reading most of these comments here, I have tdecided a way to tell the child. First off, Anonymous, you are not hate-worthy, and you are an infinitely valuable person. 18 isn't a magic age where suddenly a person can process tough information.If That being said, I believe that you would be doing the absolute best option for that 5 year old. If they have a father figure in their life with some decency, you will have offered this 5 year old the ability to choose. I've shown him a picture before of his.biological dad with his mother on my phone. Accept that you are a human being that has made a mistake and take responsibility. You are not defined by this situation, and neither is your daughter. I learned about my mom's infidelity and my "dad situation" when I was a small child.I found myself in some type of identity crisis for years.After seeking answers from spiritual guides, church, praying, counseling, etc., I still do not know how to let this go completely. I have finally told myself not seek answers from anywhere else and just wait on God to come through and bring me a peace that only he can give.
Well, she said she wasn’t Italian and he said something like someone is lying to you (if I remember correctly). Lord knows that the teenage years are difficult enough without adding this devastating news to the mix.The man pretending to be his dad, her & my daughter all know the truth but have kept it from his family & from him. I told her it is wicked to keep it a secret & shes said I'm hate filled & it's none of my business. I maintained an affectionate, loving relationship with my dad-who-raised-me even after I was told the truth. I had to discover my oldest daughters behavior was exactly who she was. Meeting my real family, I learned how she is exactly like them. I was thinking that he is someone who has a moral right to weigh in on this decision because if you should choose to tell your daughter soon, his life will be impacted.I want everyone to know the truth & deal with it now. He didn't treat me differently from his other kids, and I regarded him as my true dad. If you were to meet with him and tell him about your daughter and he was to agree that telling her when she turned 18 would be best for both her, him, and your husband, that would take some of the emotional onus off your shoulders. I just read your story and want you to know that I don’t hate you.I feel in quite the bind, i don't know when best to do this, especially with the prepubescent comment. I'm pretty sure a divorce will soon follow which could potentially put more stress on her. Like I said, you sound like a decent woman who unfortunately got pregnant. We’ve all made mistakes.❤️ Well, you all will likely already hate me.I'm a mother of a daughter and this secret has been killing me.